an excerpt Of my bLOg frOm mths b4...

he wrOte: "i've decided to cut myself off from everyone. i want to try and find myself again. it's come to a point when i don't know myself anymore. i've been too immersed in my music and i've shunned off a lot of things and i wish to try and get them back in track. try and get myself back in track. msn first, the internet and then lastly my phone. i hope i can do this. till then..*muiacks* to ya.. you know who you are. i'll still talk to you coz i need you."
 
 :)juz wOndering...wOt happens wen u dun Or wun need me anymOre?...

Listening tO: sO LOneLy-LOudness
feeLn: yawny?...im nOt sLeepy...but juz yawny...ahakz

anywayz...i'm feeLn rather disturbed after watching, haLfway,  the videOcLip Of dat kOrean dude whO gOt beheaded...reaLLy disturbing.. i din even get tO the part wer dey beheaded him...i cLdn't n stiLL can't bring myseLf tO watch it.. cOz it inhumane at aLL...tOtaLLy... itz rather sad dat peepz Lyk dat use decent peOpLe ard juz tO get wOt dey want...same Lyk bush... n itz sad dat dey use isLam tO defend demseLves using such ways cOz aLthO i'm nOt a tOtaLLy reLigiOus persOn myseLf, i stiLL beLieve dat isLam dOes nOt preach us tO expLOit Other Lyfs juz tO gain Our Own independence n Or in diz case der (the miLitants) Own Luxuries.... itz ur hOme yes...but dOing as such tO innOcent peepz makes u nO Lesser Of an animaL Lyk bush himseLf...

...Okies... sO anywayz... juz feeLn aLiL bit shitty... ahakz... dunnO y... itz reaLLy tiring fOr me tO hate anyOne ryt nOw....but itz even mOre exhausting fOr me Lyk/LOve dem cOz dey/he kept On being as such which i shaLL nOt eLabOrate On... sO meanwhiLe i shaLL be nOnchaLant abt everythg...(which in da end caused me tO feeL shitty...) i shaLL nOt Let myseLf be affected by wOt he/she  dOes tO me whether itz meant tO be a jOke Or a tease... juz remain indifferent tOwards  wOteva cOmments dey gif...

tOking tO haLim juz nOw is rather Lyk a wake up caLL fOr me... he asked me wOt i'LL be dOing after my A's... if i was gOnna Lyk cOntinue tO werever.. i said yeah... den he cOmmented dat juz being wer i am nOw is OLredi very impressive tO him... den it gOt me thinking... i dun wanna be stuck wif juz my A's...nO Offence here...but  i beLieve i can achieve better but derz juz sumthg dat hinderz me frOm dOing it... i've Lack Of mOtivatiOn tO strife fOr it...but if my mOmz support isn't gd enuff fOr an encOuragement...den wOt is...? mebbe itz juz pLain Laziness n my inabiLity tO priOritise my seLf fuLfiLments which in diz case is enjOyment vs educatiOn... bOth r things dat i wanna haf... but enjOyment is sumthg dat i dun haf tO werk hard fOr...itz juz der... sumhOw...sumthg which is juz der...sO easy tO reach Out tO is sumthg dat is wOrth juz a penny... wer as wen cOmpared tO anOther which is sO hard tO achieve.... miLes n miLes away frOm ur grasp.. is priceLess... 

juz Lyk him...da mOre i can't haf him...da mOre i reaLLy want him.....he dOesn't need tO knOw whO he is... it doesn't matter anymOre... i guez hez Outta my League... priceLess...

aLOne...again...aLL aLOng...






LOst in abyss's darkside uncovered at 12:14 PM